Projected Final Table for the English Premier League (Current Through Week 25)

Below is the projected final table for the English Premier League current through the 25th matchday of same and calculated in much the same manner as the other projected final tables which have appeared in these electronic pages.

The precise methodology for these entirely scientific tables is discussed here. Generally speaking, however, what the author has done is to calculate from three variables — shots taken in the box, shots conceded in the box, and possession rate (all of which correlate rather strongly with season-end performance) — a league-specific algorithm for estimating points. That the author is an imbecile also oughtn’t be ignored.

Here’s the updated, projected final table for the EPL:

Projected Final Table for the English Premier League (Current Through Week 24)

Below is the projected final table for the English Premier League current through the 24th matchday of same and calculated in much the same manner as the other projected final tables which have appeared in these electronic pages.

The precise methodology for these entirely scientific tables is discussed here. Generally speaking, however, what the author has done is to calculate from three variables — shots taken in the box, shots conceded in the box, and possession rate (all of which correlate rather strongly with season-end performance) — a league-specific algorithm for estimating points. That the author is an imbecile also oughtn’t be ignored.

Here’s the updated, projected final table for the EPL:

Style Point Match Ratings for the Weekend of January 31st

Recently, in these pages, the author introduced a metric called Style Points designed to estimate roughly, on a scale of 0 to 10, the aesthetic appeal of each club currently playing in Europe’s five major leagues. Even more recently — and for no reason that makes good sense — the author introduced a method by which to utilize those ratings, in conjunction with the match projections available at this site, to estimate the likely aesthetic appeal of any match occurring within the aforementioned five European leagues.

Performing that number-magic on all the matches scheduled for this weekend in Europe’s five largest leagues yields the following results, in terms of the weekend’s top-10:

Style Point Match Ratings for the Weekend of January 17th

Recently, in these pages, the author introduced a metric called Style Points designed to estimate roughly, on a scale of 0 to 10, the aesthetic appeal of each club currently playing in Europe’s five major leagues.

The exercise is absurd, admittedly, but appears to serve as a reasonable shorthand, at least, for those qualities which do and don’t evoke pleasure within the brain of a spectator. Moreover, an advantage of having produced such a measurement is that it’s also possible to estimate — merely by averaging the Style Point figures of the two relevant clubs — it’s possible to estimate the likely aesthetic appeal of any match occurring within the aforementioned five European leagues.

Doing that precise thing for the four leagues with matches scheduled for the forthcoming weekend yields the following results:

Projected Final Table for the English Premier League (Current Through Week 21)

Below is the projected final table for the English Premier League current through the 21st matchday of same and calculated in much the same manner as the other projected final tables which have appeared in these electronic pages.

The precise methodology for these entirely scientific tables is discussed here. Generally speaking, however, what the author has done is to calculate from three variables — shots taken in the box, shots conceded in the box, and possession rate (all of which correlate rather strongly with season-end performance) — a league-specific algorithm for estimating points. That the author is an imbecile also oughtn’t be ignored.

Here’s the updated, projected final table for the EPL:

Projected Final Table for the English Premier League (Current Through New Year’s Matches)

Below is the projected final table for the English Premier League following the 20th matchday of same and calculated in much the same manner as the other projected final tables which have appeared in these electronic pages.

The precise methodology for these entirely scientific tables is discussed here. Generally speaking, however, what the author has done is to calculate from three variables — shots taken in the box, shots conceded in the box, and possession rate (all of which correlate rather strongly with season-end performance) — a league-specific algorithm for estimating points. That the author is an imbecile also oughtn’t be ignored.

Here’s the updated, projected final table for the EPL:

The Premier League’s Boxing Day Matches Rated for Likely Aesthetic Appeal, By Means of Almost Science

Last week, in these pages, the author introduced a metric called Style Points designed to estimate roughly, on a scale of 0 to 10, the aesthetic appeal of each club currently playing in Europe’s five major leagues.

The exercise is absurd, admittedly, but appears to serve as a reasonable shorthand, at least, for those qualities which do and don’t evoke pleasure within the brain of a spectator. Moreover, an advantage of having produced such a measurement is that it’s also possible to estimate — merely by averaging the Style Point figures of the two relevant clubs — it’s possible to estimate the likely aesthetic appeal of any match occurring within the aforementioned five European leagues.

Doing that precise thing for all the EPL’s 10 Boxing Day contests yields the following:

Match Projections for Week 17 of the English Premier League

Below are the match projections for Week 17 of the English Premier League, calculated in much the same manner as the other match projections which appear in these electronic pages.

The methodology utilized to produce these figures is presented here. In brief, however, what the author has done is to utilize a hot expected goals formula in combination with a sexy Poisson distribution to calculate the probability of every possible scoring outcome between the clubs playing this weekend. The % symbol in the table represents the likelihood of the three relevant outcomes in each match.

So, for example, in this week’s Liverpool-Cardiff match, there appears to be about a 77% chance of Liverpool victory, a 8% chance of victory for Cardiff, and another 15% chance of a draw.

Here’s the complete table of this week’s match projections:

Style Points: A Rough, Objective Measure of Every Club’s Aesthetic Appeal

In his “career” as a “baseball writer,” the author has abused the generosity of his employer constantly — in no greater a capacity than in the production of a metric called NERD, by means of which metric he has attempted to render objectively the aesthetic appeal of this particular pitcher or that particular club to the sort of educated and bespectacled people who read the internet weblog FanGraphs.

Match Projections for Week 14 of the English Premier League

Below are the match projections for Week 14 of the English Premier League, calculated in much the same manner as the other match projections which have appeared within these electronic pages — but also, now, with the minor improvements discussed in these pages last week and over which the public have become frenzied with delight.

The methodology utilized to produce these figures is presented here. In brief, however, what the author has done is to utilize a hot expected goals formula in combination with a sexy Poisson distribution to calculate the probability of every possible scoring outcome between the clubs playing this weekend. The % symbol in the table represents the likelihood of the three relevant outcomes in each match.

So, for example, in this week’s Crystal Palace-West Ham match, there appears to be about a 27% chance of a Palace victory, a 44% chance of victory for West Ham, and another 29% chance of a draw.

Here’s the complete table of this week’s match projections: